We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
