I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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