is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
