A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
