My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
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Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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