two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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