Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
