watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
