Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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