Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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