its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
