I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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