I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
