I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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