the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
