That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
