dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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