Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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