standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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