I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
BRING THE BAGELS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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