Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
did you just send me my own nude
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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