puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
