he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize