we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
