I need to stop coming to work sober
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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