dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
