just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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