Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
