maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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