Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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