I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
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my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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