Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize