are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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