Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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