he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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