First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
