I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
