Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize