I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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