HIV tests are more positive than that guy
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
