If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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