from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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