My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We have started to decorate penises.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize