So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize