STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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