I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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