4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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