Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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