Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
