I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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