Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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