The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I want to fling myself into the sun
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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