Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize