did you get engaged???
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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