Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon