We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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