ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
