omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.