And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
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Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
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Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome