he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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